So I got to lead the music in sacrament meeting today for the first time.  This has been a long time coming which is fine by me!
Right after we had all the changes with the ward, I got a call from Bonnie Scharman who was in the RS presidency at the time.  She asked if I would substitute leading the music in Relief society  till they found someone.  I was like.. sure I can do that.  Then when I got there to do it,  the lady playing the piano said she would just as soon  lead as play and I said well that will work out just fine cause I do not especially like to lead!   So we traded spots and I thought that was the end of it.   A few weeks later, Tina asked me if I had been in to see the bishop about my new little calling.  I said no...  Then went home and asked Kelley what was going on.  He said he wasn't really sure. 
Well that Wednesday night, he told me I was supposed to go see the bishopric.    When I went in, I met with Josh and Bob.  They seemed kind of confused as to what my calling was...kind of whispering together, then said  "Oh yeah..sister Roth wants you to lead the music in Relief Society.  I was like....hmmmmm ok.  I can do that.
Well the next Sunday, I thought they would sustain me....they put about 30 other people in callings but not me.  I asked Kelley why they didn't put me in.  He said " hmmmm I think they might have something else in mind for you.
 So the next week, I thought they would have said something to Tina, but when it came time to start RS, there was no one else jumping up to do the job and Tina looked at me and mouthed..."have you been called?"  I  didn't know what to do, so I just went up there and led the music.
This went on for one more week, then I was told to go see the bishopric again.  I went in on Wednesday night and Josh and Bob said they had something different  for me...how about leading  the music in Sacrament meeting!  Oh boy!   Really? I was pretty apprehensive,  but  said I would do it.
I thought they would put me in that next Sunday, but they didn't.  I asked Kelley why they didn't put me in.  He said they hadn't had a chance to meet with the present chorister to tell her she was going to be released.  So it would be another week.  I was totally fine with that!
The next week, they released Merrilee and put me in.  After the meeting, she came up to me and gave me a big hug and said she had loved that calling, but was ok with the change.  Oh man...I  was not feeling so good about that.  She has got to be the most poised, perfect, graceful lady I know!  When she leads the music, she has this look of serenity and calmness on her face that is just kind of comforting.    She looks out over the audience and smiles at everyone, then leads beautifully...hardly ever glancing down at the book. She has had some hard things in her life lately so the bishopric thought they should ease her responsibilities at church. 
Anyway, I knew I could never replace her....she has been doing this job since...well lets just say I remember her leading when we were together with this ward 20 years ago!
As I thought of how wonderful she is, I had great fears welling up in my mind.   I thought about how sometimes if I don't know the song very well,  ( or even if I do know it!) I get so flustered, I forget what time signature I'm even leading in!   Pretty much the opposite of serenity.   Oh dear..
Well then the next week, we had regional conference so I was off the hook for one more week...but today finally rolled around and my number was up.
I had gotten a call from the music chairman with the songs we would be singing and talked to the organist at the stake dinner.  She was super nice...and said she would practice with me before church if I was nervous.  I told her I would come  to church a little early so we could go over them.
Before church today, KC played the songs on the piano so I could practice leading them.  He is a peach.  I got to church in time to put the song numbers up and to  talk with the organist about the songs...she had some good tips for me...  I was pretty impressed that the organist could talk to me and play the organ at the same time.  She said she plays the organ at the baptistery at the temple every Saturday, so she has gotten pretty good at it!  We were able to chat for a bit and found out that we have a lot in common.
As the bishopric came up to sit on the stand, they all wished me luck.  Bishop Blake said " all you have to do is get up there and smile and everything will work out"  Ok!  I can do that!
So I got up there to lead the opening song.  Looking out over the congregation while she played the introduction, I saw a sea of friendly faces...I don't know many of them, but when I smiled at them, they smiled back at me!  I was instantly put at ease.
Then I looked down at Merrilee Cooke. She was smiling up at me and gave me a thumbs up.  I got kind of choked up, but smiled back at her.  She is a great lady.
Well I made it through the songs with only a few flub ups.  People were really nice to say I had done a good job. 
I know it's just an easy calling and I shouldn't be so worried about it, but this is really out of my comfort zone.  I don't like being up in front of people...much more comfortable behind the piano.  But I guess it will get easier the more I do it.