Tuesday, June 6, 2017

This was pretty tragic...

 We decided to get a few more chicks before they were all gone so Kelley brought home four more.  These were the golden sex link variety.  They were younger than the other ones we got...only a week old the guy told Kelley.  I thought this was kind of young to leave their incubator but I guess they do it all the time so they should be fine.  We just have to keep them warm.  They were the cutest little puff balls!
Kelley brought them home and put them in the box with the other older ones.  We could see there wasn't enough room, so Kelley built this awesome little house for them up in the top of the coop.  He's pretty  amazing I have to say!It was up high so they were close to the heat light in there and we thought they would be plenty warm. 

 They older chicks were loving it and most of the little ones did at first too.  Then a day or so later, Kelley comes in and says one of the chicks had died.  I felt so bad!  We couldn't figure it out though cause it was really quite warm up there.  Well I was keeping a close eye on the other ones and noticed another one of them was looking droopy. 

 I called the guy at Cal Ranch and he said the only thing he could think of was that it was not warm enough. So we took that little chick and put her in a bucket  with the heat lamp right on her.  It was really crazy cause as soon as I took her out of there, she perked right up.  She was hopping around and eating and drinking and I thought she was going to be okay. 

 We decided to take the other baby chicks out of there and put them closer to the warm lamp. 
Well the one little chick seemed just fine all afternoon, but then she started looking sad again.  She shuts her little eyes and just stands there kind of swaying like she's drunk.  I'd pick her up and try to perk her up, but she just went steadily downhill to where she couldn't stand up.  She was making the saddest little peep noise I could hardly stand it.  The other chicks were walking all over her and started pecking at her so I took her out of there.
 I tried getting her to take some water with a dropper, but she seemed like she couldn't swallow.  I wrapped her up in a little towel and just held her cause I didn't know what else to do.  I thought 'If I'm holding her, she surely can't die'.  She was still breathing and peeping (when I'd stroke her back... I was probably squeezing the peep out of her) but she wouldn't open her eyes. After a while, she stopped breathing.  Oh man, it really got to me.  I don't know if it was because I had been holding her and trying to nurse her back to life all day, but it made me so sad.
It could have been a culmination of sad events... my dear Daralyn lost her baby last week. She had been though so much with all of her health problems, then to have this happen was heartbreaking.  The baby was big enough to deliver it and hold it.  It was a little boy.  There are just no words to make it better, so I took her some peonies and a pie and told her I loved her. 
  Another dear friend has been weighing heavy on my heart too as she goes through radiation and chemotherapy to try to get rid of the cancer in her mouth.  She had surgery in February when they found another spot and they tried to reconstruct the roof of her mouth with a piece of skin from her leg.  Her Dr. told her if it comes back again, they wouldn't have anything else they could do so they are fighting it aggressively.  Now she has thrush in her mouth from the chemotherapy.  Seriously...why?
She has the most amazing attitude of anyone I've ever seen though.  She is so positive and cheerful and just says she isn't going to worry anymore, that she's just given it to the Lord. 
Then there's dear Judy. She has been struggling with  Parkinsons disease for the past four or five years.  It was really hard for her to get a medication that would work for her and control the shaking without turning her into a zombie.  It's heartbreaking to see her try to talk and she just can't.  Then she started having falls cause her balance was so bad.  She fell at a ward dinner one night...Kelley saw her going down and made a dash to catch her, but didn't make it.  She wasn't hurt, but just humiliated.  I know after that, she was afraid to come out to things.
Anyway, a while ago, she was having a lot of pain in her knee and had a knee replacement.  It was never quite right though and still hurt and they realized it was infected.  They tried all kinds of antibiotics to get rid of the infection but nothing worked.  So the doctor said they needed to take the new knee out and fill the spot with some sort of cement ???  I don't know, I guess so they could get rid of the infection, then they will put it back together.  Well since they've done that, she's been through hell and back...actually, I think she'd tell you she's still in hell.
Kelley, Candice and I went to visit her yesterday and she's in a pretty bad way.  The pain in her leg is off the charts and when I touched her leg, it felt hot.  She just kind of shook her head and said, the infection is still there.  She is at the Legacy house just up the street and I've wanted to go see her ever since she had the surgery, but Joann would say Judy doesn't want people to see her like that.  I get that...  she is a proud lady and is always the one taking care of everyone else.  I think Kelley is one of the few people she would let do things for her...probably cause he didn't ask, he just does it.
Anyway, I was glad Kelley and Candice went with me.  Candice loves her so and has been very worried about her. And Kelley loves her like a mom. They have a sweet relationship...she likes his teasing and gives it right back to him.  He's kind of good that way to help you forget your troubles and make you laugh even when things are rough.  I love that about him.
When I got home from church Sunday, Kelley asked me if I knew about Polly's brain tumor.  WhaaaaaaT???  He said Dave had mentioned it in Priesthood meeting.  Kate said they hadn't said anything about it in ward council so I called Martha.  She always knows whats going on.  She told me Polly's been having weird symptoms for the past month or so with pain in her legs, then numbness.  Then she had a hard time even walking so she went to the dr (well several doctors) and found out she has a tumor at the base of her brain.  They don't think it's cancerous, but it's growing and needs to be taken out.  They are going to do radiation on it first to try to shrink it, then surgery.  
Oh. my. goodness.  
So I called Polly and talked to her about it.  She said she's  grateful it's not cancer, but frustrated because the doctors keep putting her off on getting it taken care of. They say the next appointment they can give her is months away!  That's not okay! It's got to the point where she's afraid to go anywhere cause her legs don't work and it's getting worse every day as the tumor grows.  She is such a dear, I can't even imagine the anguish she's gone through the past month.  
Anyway, people got some hard stuff.  I am not even comparing the suffering these dear ladies have gone through to losing my baby chick, it was just a sad thing that seemed to be the final straw.
On Sunday, I was set apart as the compassionate service leader in the ward.  Brian gave me the most incredible blessing, I wish I could have written down every word.  I felt the spirit so strong as he blessed me with the gift of a compassionate heart...that I would feel the feelings the sisters are going through and know what to do to be able to best serve and lift them. He said I needed to be the Lords hands.  Oh boy, that felt really heavy, but at the same time, such a sacred special responsibility.  I truly love the ladies in this ward!  
Katie taught the lesson in RS on Sunday and there was such a feeling of love and unity between the sisters. (Katie did an incredible job with the lesson by the way...my heart was just bursting as I watched her...she has a special gift and it makes me so happy and grateful to see her use it!) So glad she is in tune and knew what those ladies needed to hear that day...it was pretty evident she touched many hearts.  
Anyway, maybe that's why I've been such a mess of emotions lately...I get to feel all the feelings...
Heaven help me...no Please, Heaven help me!


Thursday, June 1, 2017

 Sunday after church we decided to take some flowers to the cemeteries.  I made some arrangements with the peonies, lilies and iris.  We headed up to the Salt Lake City Cemetery first.  

 Kelley loves to go to the cemetery!  (NOT!) He is kind of weird about anything death related.  I have to force him to go to any viewing and when we are there, he won't look at the dead person.  He says he doesn't want to have a funeral, just have his ashes spread out over his favorite fishing spots.  Ha!
 He used to say "Why would we visit the graves?  the people aren't there"...which is true, but I told him how all the years of my growing up,  it was just something we always did.  Mum would make enough flower arrangements for all the relatives graves...the back of the car was always loaded. As I got older, I'd help her get flowers from the garden to make the bouquets with.  She could make something pretty out of practically nothing, which was usually what was left blooming by the end of May.  
Anyway, it was kind of a special time for remembering and honoring those that had gone on before us. We would walk around the cemetery to all of the relatives graves and mum would tell us stories about them.  Brenda has such a good memory and could remember details about them too. I felt like as the youngest, I had missed out on getting to know a lot of my cousins  and grandparents the way my sisters did.  My grandma Lena died before I was born, and my grandpa Tibbitts died with I was 5 so I loved hearing about their lives.
Anyway, Kelley is great to go there now whenever I want to because he knows it's important to me...and he just makes this face.

 The drive up to Logan was so nice.  Sardine Canyon was real pretty and green!

 We went right up to the Providence cemetery, avoiding driving by the old house.  It was one of those "I want to see, I don't want to see" things.

 I picked some pretty yellow roses for Bruces grave.

 So grateful for this bunch that I have that loves and supports me and will drive for three hours to make me happy.

I love that KC gets me and will linger a little longer with me, asking questions about my folks and others who are buried near by.  He has a tender heart that understands.
We did drive by the house on the way out of town.  Probably shouldn't have.  It was pretty sad. I was just hoping that maybe...
 I was thinking on the way home how much things have changed in the past 10 years.  It seems like everything went along the same for so many years, I thought it would always be like that.  Now when I go to Logan, things are so different.  The town is built up so much and there are homes and businesses everywhere.  Old places that I grew up with have been replaced with new homes or buildings.  Empty fields and pastures are now subdivisions.  It all feels very foreign and like I don't belong there anymore.  It made me sad and I had to keep looking out the window on the way home so no one would see my tears. 
 I know I can't expect things to stay the same forever, it's all part of life...and death.  This is kind of a weird analogy but I always think of it as I'm dead heading my flowers.   My flowers start out as a tiny seed, in time, with care, they grow into a little plant.  After growing into a bigger plant, it will begin to make a bud.  Soon this bud grows and finally bursts open to reveal it's full glory. They are really something now and you can almost feel the joy of the blooming plant!  After some time though, the bloom begins to fade and wrinkle.  It starts shrinking back and sinking to the ground, soon to be just a little brown dried up petal that will return to the earth.  All this time, new little buds have been forming though and when their time comes, they will spring open to replace the one that's fallen below.  
I guess life's kind of like that... we come here to learn and grow and hopefully to bring some joy to those around us.  Then when our time is done, we'll quietly slip away, and the next new and brilliant generation will take our place...and the cycle will go on.  Hopefully we have left some good seeds of our life behind that will  carry on and continue to produce a wonderful heritage of our family.  I know I will be forever grateful for the wonderful parents, siblings, husband, and children I've been blessed with and for Gods great plan for all of us here on earth.  When I think about it, there's no need for sadness or tears because it all makes sense...and it's a really good plan. 

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Mum and daddy used to take rolls and rolls of super 8 film of their flowers.  I didn't really appreciate that until I had my own garden. Flowers make me so happy and now I want to capture every lovely bloom too!
And when they have sentimental value, I love them even more!  
This yellow rose was a mother's day gift from Katie several years ago.  It gets more beautiful every year...just like Kate!   


 I can't really get over these peonies.  They were just opening up here and were loaded with buds.  We took two starts from Kelley's folks place before they sold the house and they are just my favorite!

 This is a pretty white lily Kelley got a start from Marks.   His lilies are incredible. His back yard is a lily paradise.  He has propagated them and made his own varieties.  Each one is named and is neatly marked.

 I'm so tickled with the the vegie garden right now too!  It's so fun to be able to go pick two kinds of lettuce, spinach, and radishes for my daily salad!

 The lilies in the pond are blooming like crazy right now and they are soooooo pretty!  Seriously, just perfect!  

 The bees really like them too!

 Okay, now the peonies are in full bloom! Just in time to make some beautiful arrangements and take some to the cemeteries!

 I love this butter crunch lettuce! And you can see the radishes peeking their little heads out of the ground. 

 The Clematis had it's first bloom today too!
I'm so grateful mum and daddy instilled in me a love for planting, nurturing and growing all kinds of things...especially flowers. They are so perfect and intricate!  I can just imagine the joy that our creators felt as they designed each one so uniquely beautiful.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

New Bees, Chicks and boots.
We got two complete nuks from a guy on KSL on Saturday.  Kelley sat them on a pallet down by the chicken coop to have them get used to being here for a couple days, then yesterday him and Candice moved the boards into our hive box.  They were just loaded with bees and had already started making honeycomb.  

 I love that Candice enjoys the bees too!  She's not afraid to jump right in and handle them.

 Aren't they just the cutest!
We decided this morning we had better get out to Cal Ranch and get some chicks or they would soon be gone. I had looked at them when Kate and I were getting Kelley's leaf blower for his birthday and  they were getting pretty sparse.
So after I got home from the gym, we headed out to Cal Ranch.  They only had a few of these Buff Orphington kind left so we took 4.  These are the same kind we got when we first started with the chickens.  They are the cutest brown fluffy chickens that look like they are wearing bloomers.  Their feathers come clear down their legs.  They are pretty mellow and don't mind you holding them.  Plus they lay beautiful brown eggs!
 We thought we'd check to see if they had any boots in Kelley's size out there at Cal Ranch and they actually did!  It's not easy to find 15's!  Kelley's boots had really had it!  He wears them till they die.  Anyway, it's a pretty great day when we can find some that fit him so we got them!

 Those are a hard working guys boots!  They have done more than their share so we'll lay them to rest.
Candice came over and we named all the new babies and introduced them to their new home.

We'll keep them separated from the big chickens for a few months to keep them safe.  You never really know what they are going to do.  Sometimes they are mean to one chicken and peck at her till her feathers are about gone.  Sometimes they just break their own eggs and make a big ol mess, and sometimes it seems like they want to lay their eggs anyplace other than in the nest.  We'll find them in all kinds of strange places.  I don't know why.  They are mostly quite sweet though and it makes me smile when they follow me around the yard like I'm their momma hen.