Letting go...

This has been a rough weekend.  We knew it was coming, but for me, I guess I had just put it on the back burner...thinking maybe some miracle would happen that would change everything and make this reality go away. But it didn't, the process went forward, and we sold the house.
When things fell through with Mardene, we decided to see what kind of response we would get by putting a for sale sign in front of the house.  We put Brenda's phone number on it to call if anyone was interested since she was most available to show it to people.  She got a lot of calls and showed the house to several people.  There were several that just came up and knocked on the door too.  We had asked Faith and Aaron to let them look around a little, then to call Brenda if they were really interested.
There were  three sound offers on the house...we went over each one carefully, weighing the pros and cons.  A letter from the one we chose, helped us a lot in our decision.
This man told us how he had admired mum and daddy's place for years and was so excited when he saw it go up for sale.  He said if he could get it, he would not tear down any of the buildings, but restore them to their original state.  He  said him and his wife love yard work and gardening and flowers and want to make the yard look like it did years ago.   He has a young family and loves the idea of having this beautiful place for them to grow up in.
That kind of sealed the deal for us.  Pretty much everything we could have wanted to happen!
So we all agreed to tell him we would accept his offer. ( with a few minor adjustments)
We told him that there was still so much to do in cleaning out the house and out buildings...we were going to need a little time.  He was very understanding and said although he would want to start working on the house remodeling, we could have till June 1st  to get all the stuff out of the house.  Really???  When I told Katie this, she said it was pretty much unheard of to give us this much time.
Truly a tender mercy we have been given.
Saturday morning, we all met again and went over the offer and made an addendum satisfying his and our concerns.  Then Brenda said.."well, Boyd needs this offer to give to his bank to go forward with his financing...so are we ready to sign it?"  We all just sat there like deer in the headlights. 
I think this was the first time it had really seemed real...no backing out, changing our minds, lets think about it some more, or what ifs...It was really happening....and it hurt...a gut wrenching, heart aching hurt.
So we all agreed...(very reluctantly on Teina's part...we had all hoped and wished so much for someone in her family to be able to buy the place)  to sign the papers...."You go first...no, you go, awwww I can't, no, you go..."  you get the picture.  Then the tears.  Man this is hard.
After Boyd left, we tried to pull ourselves together to get through the rest of the day.
I took some left-overs from bunko up there for our lunch.  So after a beautiful prayer from Leslie, pleading for some peace in our hearts, we ate and then went to work.

I hadn't really said much to my family about it...I've almost felt like I was betraying them by agreeing to sell the place.  They love it so much too and have tons of happy memories with grandma and grampa there.  Anyway, somehow they knew I was struggling that day and called me with words of love and support.  That meant a lot to me.

So grateful for a sweet, thoughtful husband who knows my heart and can always make me feel like everything will be ok and will work out the way it's supposed to.  Love him a lot.

 I've been thinking a lot lately about my life and the experiences I've had growing up and then with my own family in that beautiful, unique yard and home. Then as we contemplated selling the place, all those feelings and memories have come real close to the surface.  They are memories and feelings  that are such a big part of me, I never want to lose or forget them.

Lisa wrote some thoughts  about selling the house that rung true with me...that while we still had the house, we could resist thinking about the finality of mum and daddy really being gone.  Now with the house gone, there was no going back. 

The memories really are from being there with mum and daddy  and now they are gone, it doesn't feel the same.  I still get a peaceful calm feeling when I pull in the driveway, but in the house, you don't feel the loving warmth that would envelope you before when they were there.

As we took down the pictures and things in the living room,  well it was just pretty sad.  But then the this quote came to me that I've always liked....Don't cry because it's over...smile because it happened."

Very simple but good advice.   I'm trying...