This morning mom woke up pretty early. I came down and got her up and ready for the day. We came into the family room and I turned on the tv...the tv came on but not the cable ( a weird thing our remote does) so there was no picture. Mom said "Oh there's my dad!" I said "where?" She said " he was on the tv!" As we stared at the black screen, I was like "hmmmm do you still see him?" She said "No, he's gone now." Weird. I remember Maxine visiting with relatives that had passed on when she was close to the end of her life. She would look up into the corner of her bedroom and have a very clear conversation with them. It was a little creepy, but very special and sacred to witness how thin the veil really is. I remember her talking about death and comforting all of us. "It's not scary...just like walking into the next room" I don't doubt that mom got a glimpse of her dads face...they are not far away. Then I asked her what she wanted for breakfast. She said how about an egg. So I made her a fried egg and some toast. When I took it to her, she looked at it like she was really surprised. Then she said "I can't believe you laid an egg for me!" I told her the chicken did most of the work...I just cooked it. Then we both got the giggles. Cheryl came to do a check up on mom. She measured her arms, legs, and around her tummy so she could compare those measurements with the first time she came. She said it had been 90 days! She asked me how she had been eating....not so much lately. She was smaller in her arms and legs...( she can hardly hold up her support stockings....they just kind of hang there all wrinkly and loose.) Then she tested her blood and said her level was way too high. She called the doctor and they want me to not give her cumadin for two days and gave me a prescription for a vitamin K pill. She said they need to thin her blood down quick. The nurse always comments about how good natured and sweet mother is. I can't agree more. Sure do love my mom.

Ok...lets just look at pictures of Sam and Liv. Miss them so.

Ahhhhhhhhh. I feel better now.

We had a real nice day on Saturday. I got mom up and showered and ready for the day.

Wow that really made me appreciate Rebecca even more. She has been coming twice a week to help mom with her shower, but called the other day and said she wouldn't be able to get there on Saturday till about 10:00. I told her that I could handle it so to not come that day.

I had forgotten how challenging it is to get mom in the shower!

I will be giving Rebecca an extra hug and a thank you when she comes on Wednesday!

Teina, Brenda and Leslie came down to visit mom and celebrate Teina's birthday.

It was nice to get to sit and visit with them. I wished that mom would have been feeling better that day. She was kind of out of it.

It was pretty sweet later that night though, mom and I watched the YW General broadcast on tv together. It was so good. The closing song was How Firm a Foundation and she started singing along. We sang all the verses together and she didn't miss a word. I taught the lesson in YW on Sunday. It was on strengthening your relationships with extended family. It was fun looking through old pictures to find some of things we had done together with our extended family. I was once again reminded of what a wonderful family I have! We have had so many good times together over the years. I loved seeing pictures of the kids having fun with their cousins....I sure am grateful they have the relationships they do with them.

It was suggested in the lesson that I have one of the girls tell the story of Ruth and Naomi. I felt prompted to ask Alexis. I called her and she was totally willing. I thought she would just give the basic story, but she had really studied the book of Ruth. She had even asked the missionaries to help her give a good summary.

Then she gave her own thoughts about the story too and what it meant to her. She is a pretty amazing girl.

I was also happy to have Marci back in class. It doesn't feel right when she's not there. She helped me with my lesson too and did a great job.

Candice came over and stayed with grandma all afternoon. We had fun baking and just talking.

She made a yummy banana bread that grandma loved.

I had got some nice strawberries and wanted to make an angel food cake to have them on. I haven't made one from scratch before and now I know why. It was a pain! I guess I set my expectations too high when I picked the recipe for it from Alton Brown....You have to use cake flour and superfine sugar. Didn't have either of those so I googled...how to make... and went to work. (put sugar in food processor till fine...looked like powdered sugar when I got done!...and for the cake flour, you take out some of the flour and sift corn starch into it....then sift it several times till the corn starch is all worked into it)

Then I realized it took a dozen egg whites. Luckily I had just bought some....so I started separating. I had done two and one of the yolks broke and got into the other whites. Ahhhhh. So I tried to get the yolk out but it was too mixed in. I remember something about it not working if there is any yolk in there, So I dumped that and started over again. Waste! Waste!

I got the eggs all properly separated, then mixed them with some other ingredients and had to beat them till I got peaks....20 minutes and a very tired hand mixer later, I very carefully (just dusting the tops of the peaks says Alton) folded in the flour mixture.

Then I carefully spooned it into the tube pan.

After baking to perfection, I set it upside down on the mason jar so it wouldn't go flat. Kind of risky balancing it on that little top, but I got it set and made note to self...don't' bump it!

Well after all of our baking, Candice and I had made quite a mess of the kitchen, so we got busy cleaning up. She washed dishes, I dried.

Unfortunately, as I was putting away a cookie sheet, I bumped the cake with it and it fell off it's perch and landed face down on the floor. Hardly any Lizzy fur. Ahhhhh!

Kelley heard the ruckus and came to help. He picks up the cake and tries to put it back on the jar, but that wasn't happening. It started coming out of the pan and a big chunk of it broke off. So he just dumped it out on a plate. It was looking pretty sad. I picked up a chunk that had fallen off and tried it. It was fabulous! I decided to just cover it with strawberry and whipped cream goodness and no one would know what it had been through. Ha! what a disaster! It did taste a lot better than the ones you make from a mix or buy in a store though. I'd have to be in a pretty domestic mood to try it again though.

Fun Night

Kelley and I were able to go to the Jazz game last night...many thanks to Kim and Mark for inviting us!

Mark has a brother who is a big shot lawyer and has season tickets but instead of going to this game, he and his wife jetted off in their personal plane to watch the BYU game instead. Ha! how would it be? Can't really imagine.

Anyway, we were tickled to get to go.

I called Candice ..."Do you think you could come over and hang out with Grandma ?"

"Sure! Sounds like fun!"

Isn't she wonderful?

So she came over after work and stayed the night with grandma. Sounds like they had a fun night of Jeopardy and Funniest videos. She made her dinner and made sure she took her pills. She got her ready for bed (had little incident getting her from bathroom to her bedroom because of slippery socks... her feet start going different directions and there's no stopping her. Candice said they both just slowly went down to the floor...laughing all the way.) I can just picture it cause it happened to me the other day when I hadn't got her slippers on her. Luckily, I just guided her back to the toilet seat as she did the splits and she didn't go all the way to the ground. (it's really hard to get her up from the floor!)

But Candice said she just got behind her and picked her up and put her in the wheel chair. Candice you are awesome!

Can't tell you what it means to me that she is always so willing to help with grandma...and with a great attitude!

Anyway, I knew grandma was in good hands so I was able to relax and enjoy a night out.

Mark had told us that he had VIP tickets but I had not idea how VIPY they were! We went in a different entrance that I have never seen before and after showing them our tickets were escorted into a lovely dining room (round tables with roses on them) and a delicious buffet.

Then we went up to our seats...row 3? really? It was fun to be able to see and hear everything so up-close. Really a different experience!

Unfortunately, the other team got an incredible shot off with 1 second to go and tied the game that we thought the Jazz had won. That sent it into overtime. Things kind of went south from there. The Jazz gave it their all but they just really don't have any great players to help them pull it off anymore.

It was a exciting game to watch though and a fun night out with my sweetie and good friends.

I sure hope what people say about a dogs mouth being clean is true.

I just came downstairs and found mom feeding Lizzy her lunch...off her fork.

("Oh mom, don't let her eat your food!" "But she loves loves cheesy noodles!")

oh dear.

Oh wait...it gets better. I just went to take her tray away and she pointed to a bean that had fallen off her plate. "Is that a worm?"

I started laughing and she looked closer at it and started laughing too.

So glad we can still laugh together over silly things.

No worms on the menu today!

So today I was supposed to be having surgery (hysteroscopy and D and C and removal of a polyp.) I have been giving this a lot of thought...in fact, last Friday, I called the doctors office to talk to Dr. Roth about it. I have been feeling like I needed to see if there might be some other options.
He wasn't in the office on Friday, but I had a good talk with Stephanie (she is a wonderful nurse...I wonder sometimes if the nurse knows better whats going on than the doctor! She looked at my ultrasound pictures and said my problems didn't look extreme and sometimes you can treat in other ways...but to come in for my pre- op consultation Monday and talk things over with Dr. Roth.
So yesterday I met with Dr. Roth. He told me about my polyp and the lining of my uterus and said he wasn't worried about it being cancerous. They were most concerned about the heavy bleeding I've been having and wanted to get that to stop.
He said there is a drug that is supposed to thin the lining of the uterus and could possibly shrink the polyp too. He said he didn't see anything that looked urgent so we could try that first, then if it doesn't work, I would have to have the surgery. HOORAY! I was so happy!
So I came home and called Teina to let her know she wouldn't need to come stay with mom. She has been so wonderful, helpful and supportive!
I feel very much at peace with this decision and look at it as a blessing to at least be able to postpone the surgery to a time when things are not so overwhelming as they are right now.

Mom has been doing really good the past few days. She had a dentist appointment on Tuesday so I had planned to meet with all my sisters when we went up to Logan.
Mom woke up a little later (7:00) and I was happy to sleep in a little bit. I haven't been able to sleep for more than about 4 or 5 hours this past week or so. Don't know why...I just wake up about 1:30-2:00 every night. I've tried all the tricks...no caffeine, staying up later, I even tried an ambian...well I tried a half one night...nothing. So I tried a whole one the next night. No change.
I usually read until I feel like I can go to sleep (this usually happens about 5 when Kelley's alarm starts going off.) Oh well, I guess I will just have to live with it. It's wearing me down though. I'm getting crabby. Snapped at Kelley yesterday over nothing. Sorry.
Anyway, I got mom up and going. I was glad she was really with it and her mind was totally here. She was excited to see everyone and in a really good mood. She helped me pick out something nice to wear and I did her hair up cute. Got her breakfast, then I went and got myself ready to go.
Now to tackle the stairs...haven't done that by myself before. She was moving pretty well and was a trooper going up the stairs. (I think her mind set has a lot to do with how well she moves.)
I had pulled the car into the driveway so she could get in easier. Well we did pretty good till we tried going down the front steps. She did fine on the first few steps, then her heel got caught on the step and she couldn't move it. I was holding her up from the front, and couldn't free her shoe, so we both just went down slowly. She just sat on the step for a minute, then was ready to try to get up again. That was the hard part...getting her from that low to a standing position again. Her legs just aren't strong enough to push herself up. So I got behind her and tried to lift her. Not so easy....but we made it! I got her over to the car and she got in pretty slick ( with me pushing from behind)
We stopped and picked up Teina on the way. I was kind of worried what mom would think when we got to her house....I was thinking she might not want to leave again. But she didn't. I think she realizes now that she cannot be there alone anymore.
Brenda and Leslie came a while later and we had some lunch and were able to sit and talk about a few things. I can't say we really resolved anything, (what will we do with mom's house?????) We all have pretty strong feelings about it but not all on the same page. It's a very emotional subject! None of us want to let it go, but none of us want to buy it either. Actually, I would love to buy it if I had the money.
We talked mostly about Faith staying there and what would be a fair price to charge her. Mom's utilities are ridiculously high. The house is so drafty, the furnace runs nonstop. Then in the summer, her water bill is out of sight. We had talked about having her just cover the utilities, but that's not going to be very cheap either. I need to talk to Leslie (Faith's mom) about it.
We talked about trading off having mom at our house, but it's pretty much not do-able for Leslie and Brenda. Teina said she could possibly have her there, but it would be hard with the way her bathroom is set up.
Brenda suggested an assisted living center. I'm thinking that as long as I can care for her, I will.
Leslie had to get back to work, so Brenda came with Teina, mum and I to the dentist office. Getting mom into the car that time didn't go as smoothly. She only got about half way in and couldn't get any farther. We were all behind her trying to push her onto the seat but it wasn't happening. We all got the giggles, then it was really over. Had to get her back on the driveway, regroup and try it again. This time we all just lifted her into the seat. Whew!
I pulled up right by the office and Teina and Brenda helped her walk in. She did really well. She was in there for quite a while getting her teeth cleaned. When she was done, the hygienist came out and told us a few things she needed to have done. Mom had told her that she wanted to get her missing tooth replaced, but we decided against it. The nurse said it probably wouldn't be worth all the work and expense.
We stopped back by the house and I got a few more of her things that I thought would make her feel more comfortable at my house and headed home.
It was nice the next day when the nurse came, she asked mom what she had liked about this past week and she said " Well, I'm living here with Paula now, and she takes really good care of me. I'm happy here." That was the first time I had heard her admit that she was living with me now...and to hear that she was happy really made me happy too!

Mom

Lizzy is grandma's new bff. She doesn't leave her side. The other night mom said..."could wiggy sleep by me?" So she did. Lizzy follows her where ever she goes...sits outside the bathroom door till she comes out...then will trot over and lay by her feet. (The fact that she feeds her whatever food she doesn't want might have something to do with it)

It makes me sad that we didn't get a new pet for mom all those years after mittens died. I kept offering to get a new kitty for her but she would always insist that she couldn't have another pet because it hurt too much when she died. Pets give such an unconditional love... I think they are wonderful and can only do good for everyone involved!

I Just wanted to let Candice and Kelley know how much I appreciate everything they do to help with Grandma.

She has had some pretty rough days where she is very confused and paranoid and then there are good days when her mind is really clear and she is her sweet old self. I don't know what causes the change...really no explanation for it. Camille and Forest said it well..."kind of like a box of chocolates...you just don't know what you're going to get"

Anyway, the past little while, I think Kelley has been able to see the many different faces of Jean.

I love how he talks with her...never patronizing or talking to her like a child like some people do. He always jokes with her and gets her to laugh.

Saturday morning, Kelley was home and we were waiting for Rebecca to come. (Mom has been waking up super early this past week...like around 6:00! Ahhhhhhhhh I don't want to be awake at 6:00!) Anyway, I heard Kelley downstairs talking to her. She was very adamantly telling him that he needed to roll it back! He said what do you want to roll back....the blanket ? She said "yes! I don't want it on me! So Kelley folded it up and set it aside. Then she said "Now you have to roll it back!" I said what do you want to roll back? and she looked at the tv. I said do you want to watch that show again that you have been watching? ( she had been watching a dog show on animal planet) She said No! I don't want anymore dog shows! I think about this point, Kelley and I just looked at each other like WOW! Kelley stayed with her and kept trying to talk to her and calm her and I ran in the bathroom and buried my face in a stack of towels so she couldn't hear me.... half laughing, half crying at the whole situation.

Then there was the day of the big earthquake in Japan. We had been watching on the news as the story unfolded.

I had to run a few errands, but got mom all situated so she would be ok while I was gone. When I got home about an hour later, she had gotten up out of the chair...don't ask me how, and moved over to the couch. She was sitting on the edge of the couch, wringing her hands when I walked in. I said "mom what are you doing over here?" She said " I was so worried about you...I was looking everywhere for you! They said there was missing people and I thought you were one of them!"

Oh dear.

Sometimes she gets confused of what is on tv and what is real. I noticed one day she was taking her grilled cheese sandwich apart and pulling the cheese out. I asked her if she needed me to cut it up of if she needed some help with it. She had been watching the Today show with Kathylee and Hoda and she said "I can't get Kathylee to help me...she won't even have a bite of my sandwich!" (I don't think she cares too much for Kathylee) I am just like "oh mom... what in the world are you talking about?"

Saturday afternoon Candice came over and stayed with Grandma while Kelley and I went to do sealings. Right before we left, Phillip and Stacey came over to visit grandma. (They are great!) Anyway, I didn't have a chance to get her to the bathroom before I left, so later, Candice asked grandma if she needed to go. ( I'm sure she didn't think she would want to...she never does) but go figure...she said "Yes I do!" So Candice got to take grandma to the bathroom all by herself....not easy to do!

Then on Sunday, she came over and spent the afternoon with mom while we were at church. Candice is really great with grandma...I think she would do well in a profession of caring for elderly. She can talk easily with her and I can see how much mom likes having her around. She will ask me in the morning...is Candice here?

I'm just really grateful for the support I have been given and the wonderful family I have been blessed to be a part of...I know I couldn't do this without their help.

Oh my poor honey...Last night when I was making dinner (pork chops and sliced potatoes that get all crispy yummy in the fry pan) Kelley said "why don't you use that nice little slicer thing that came with the new chopper?"

Ha! great idea!

So I dug it out of the back room and finished peeling the potatoes. Then I started looking for the thing you poke into the potato that holds it so you don't have to slice your fingers.

In the two seconds it took me to find the holder thing, Kelley had picked up a potato and started slicing. Within about three slices, I hear,"that's not good." (Kelley is not much of a swearer...mostly just at church)

I look over to see blood gushing out of his thumb.
"What did you dooooooo?"

He obviously forgot that the blades on this fabulous new chopper are so sharp you should only handle them with metal armor on.

Oh dear, I don't do very good with blood, tried to not let it get to me so I could help him. He said " maybe just grab me a few bandaids" So I got them all opened and put them on, but within about two seconds, they were saturated. So he just stood letting the blood run in the sink. blahhhhhh. We were thinking it was good KC wasn't there cause he would have been a gonner for sure.

We decided to try putting pressure on it (wrapped in a paper towel) for a minute till it stopped bleeding. Kelley agreed to go lay down , which kind of scared me. He has got to be the most stubborn man I know (not as stubborn as he used to be, but still very stubborn!)

Anywho, he laid down for a while, then we bandaged it up good. He took a shower and when he got out, it was bleeding pretty good again.

Stitches? Ha! I think it would take another confrontation with the table saw to get him into the emergency room again.

We bandaged again and I thought it would be ok now.

Not so much. This is a picture he sent me from work today.

He really needs to take better care of what fingers her has left! When we were in the temple last week, I was looking at his hands, and they are looking pretty rough! Wait, that is a huge understatement! They look like he has been hitting them with rocks! Lots of cuts and cracks and nails that looked like they have been smashed with a hammer.

I love his hands though...they are big and strong and worn and very man looking. Reminds me of my dad's hands...rough, calloused hands of a hard working man.

(don't worry, I won't tell anyone you got that awful cut slicing potatoes for your wife)

Whew!

Candice and I have been waiting anxiously for the results of the biopsy done on all of our moles.
We were told that they would have the tests back Tuesday...so Candice calls Tuesday morning ( I was too chicken) to see how they turned out.
They told her that Dr. Bradley hadn't had a chance to look at them yet and they would call her when he did.
So I waited a while, then called their office. She said The tests hadn't even come in yet but to check back after 4:00.

I don't know about Candice, but I really work myself into a tizzy thinking the worst.
We decided to go to Cafe Rio for lunch to commiserate. Candices' company and Cafe Rio did wonders for me. We laughed a lot and I decided that laughter really is the best medicine!
I thought I would wait to hear from Candice...then I would call to get my results. Nothing. Ha! I do not love the girls that work in his office!
Soooooo when it got to be 6:00, I figured they were not going to let us know that day.
Another sleepless night. Not sure how I function at racquetball...must be running on pure adrenalin. (It was funny cause I played Susan first and Ruth said she would have winners play winners. We had a really long game and by the end (20-20) I was totally beat. I just figured that Jamie would win her and Kari's game and I knew I didn't have it in me to play Jamie, ( she hits the ball so hard it scares me) so on the last point, I wasn't sad at all that Susan got the point! When we walked out though, Ruth said "you guys are going to be surprised at what happened ! Kari just beat Jamie! (Kari is a 4 and Jamie is a 1) Kari gets to start with 16 points so if Jamie just messes up a few times, it's over.
Ha Ha the joke was on me! We all had a good laugh over that! So I ended up playing Jamie after all. It was actually fun and I ended up beating her. (she must have been having a bad day!)
After racquetball, I got a text from Candice that said she had called Dr. Bradleys' office and they said all of her moles were fine! I was so happy to hear that!!!!!!
So I called them while I was driving home. I swear this is just like those reality shows where they keep you waiting and waiting , the suspense building every second, to give you the final results. ( I waited 4 minutes for them to come back to the phone...yup I timed it) I was sure Dr. Bradley was going to be getting on the phone ( like he has done before when it was bad news) to break it to me.
Nope...the nurse came back on and said they were all fine! She had a different name for some of the moles....but it wasn't cancer! Hooray! So grateful for answered prayers... I feel like I have a new lease on life!

A few random things from the past few days...

I was having mom look though some genealogy sheets and pictures I had to see if she could remember who some of the people in the pictures were. We had a good time reading over some of the relatives life historys.

Then I found some old records she had given to me years ago that I had never really looked at before.

This was the hospital records of my birth... Gosh I even had cute feet back then! ( pretty much my best feature)
This one has my weight and size...8 lb. 4 oz...21 1/2 inches long. This one is the total bill. 81.60 Oh my how times have changed. Paid in full with cash on January 7.
I love that about my parents. They never in their lives bought anything on credit except for the house. If they wanted something and didn't have the money, they would work and save till they did. We didn't get new things very often...mostly just figured that we could get along with what we had. Daddy was the king of making something out of nothing. He had saved every old board, piece of tin, nails, glass, old wheels, handles, anything you could think of he had out in his garage and if you had something that was broken, 99 percent of the time, he would be able to fix it up.
I didn't get a lot of new things...being # five, I was in line for a lot of hand me downs. Mom always sewed cute clothes for all us girls though.
I remember when I was in the fifth grade, mom came and picked me up from school and took me over to town to try on a coat she had seen on sale at JC Penney's. It was a beautiful white fur coat and I remember feeling just like a princess with it on.
When I graduated from junior high school, I got the prettiest blue dress to wear to the graduation ceremony. Then, I got a real surprise...a ten speed bike! It was a pretty yellow and I loved it! My girl friends all had one too so we had a lot of fun on them. We even rode our bikes out to Hyrum dam during the summer to swim.
When I was in high school, everyone liked to go skiing. I didn't have ski's so I rented a few times. Then for Christmas that year, I found a beautiful set of ski's and boots under the tree. (they weren't new, but in great condition and I loved them!)
I know that my mom and dad worked hard so we could have a good comfortable life. They wanted us to have the things we felt were important at the time...but were sensible about it and didn't spoil us.
I guess I got thinking about this during our Sunday school lesson. It was on the Sermon on the mount. He was talking about one of my favorite scriptures..."Where your treasure is...there your heart will be also."

People that set their happiness on getting "things" are usually never satisfied and just keep wanting more...doesn't ever give you the true feeling of peace.

I was just feeling thankful that my parents planted in my heart that the true lasting treasures are faith, family, and loving relationships. That is all we really need...
A few random pictures Camille has sent me the past few days....gosh I miss them!It's not snowing in phoenix

We had a great YW activity the other night. Kim lined up a gal that Mark works with that came and taught the girls some self defense.

The girls really got into it and learned some moves that could really save you. I was glad to learn them too!

Candice and I met over at the DI Saturday to look for a table to put her sewing machine on. We didn't find one, but had fun looking at stuff. When we came out, this wreck had just happened right there on the corner. Looked bad. They were trying to get the people out of the car that had flipped over.

A good reminder to drive more carefully.

Saturday afternoon, Kelley and I went out to the Draper Temple and did a bunch of sealings of names that Kim had found. It was pretty cool to do family names. I could feel the sweetest feeling in the room and I think we may have had angels with us...I guess it showed on my face because the sealer commented that I just looked happy. I don't know how you can not be happy when you are helping these people who have waited so many years to move forward with their progression. (Also, kneeling across the alter from my good husband and being reminded of the fact that I am sealed to this man for time and all eternity....well it makes me happy!)

The sealer taught us some things that I have not thought of before that really made sense to me and gave the sealing ceremony even more meaning and importance.

While I was waiting for Kelley to come out of the dressing room, I was talking to one of the temple workers there. She was telling me about some of the paintings in the Draper Temple. There is one of Moses being taught by God that was really striking. Then she talked about a painting of Martha and Mary with Jesus. She told me how she had always had a hard time with that story because she felt like she was like Martha...always the one who did the work, but tried to do what was right too. She said she noticed in the painting that Martha was standing back working, but was listening intently to what Jesus was saying. She said she hopes that the Martha's will be blessed for their good hearts too.

I was just really touched by this sweet lady's thoughts. I think we all have our own unique personalities...our strengths and weaknesses and each of us is placed in our own situation in this life... I think God knows what is in our hearts and doesn't want us to try to be like somebody else...he wants us to be ourselves and do the very best that WE can do.

Anyway, it was one of those days at the temple that you come away feeling really glad that you went.

Mom had a good day today. She was in a happy mood when I went in to get her up. She felt stronger and was able to walk with my help to the bathroom.
First thing she always asks is where is Lizzy...except she has a new name for her every day. Today it was "where is wiggy?"
Then while I was fixing her hair she started singing this song about fuzzy wuzzy losing his hair.
We both got the giggles.

I had to hurry to get ready for my Dr. appointment. I dread these visits to Dr. Bradley, but know I gotta do it. When he did the complete body check a while ago, he found 4 moles he said have to come off, so today was the day.
It wasn't so bad...I think the worst part is waiting for the biopsy report to come back. Blahhhhhh
Candice had some removed today too. I hate that I passed my mole-ee-ness on to the kids...sorry guys.
Stopped off at walmart to get some groceries on the way home. Found myself feeling awful blue missing Camille, Olivia and Sam...I keep trying to do that " don't cry cause it's over... be happy it happened" thing, but so far, I'm just sad that it's over.

Sam is just a little joy. He's such a happy little guy!He has this guy wrapped around his finger. All Kelley has to do is pick him up and Sam just starts smiling. (So does Kelley)

Candice is such a sweetheart. She came over and baby sat while Camille and I went to bunko.

She really took care of things...got grandma dinner and helped her to bed too.




This is what we came home to. Sweet auntie!

Sam keeps trying to get his thumb in his mouth...which would not be bad cause he's not too crazy about the binky.

This was one of my favorite days while Camille was here.

She has taught Liv to sing "I see the moon" and it really pulls at my heartstrings to hear her and grandma singing it together....

Sweet reminder of the many wonderful things mother has taught us that will be carried on through generations.

Oh my goodness, I'm going to eat him. Liv giving birth to new crochet animals.

Fun day playing with Liv in the new snow.

Candice, Camille and I went over to the new nail shop at the west valley shop and got our nails done. The place is fixed up real nice and I liked all the girls there. She did a fancy wax treatment on my feet that felt great! I will definitely go back.

The time went by so quickly for me...I was kind of in denial that they would be leaving at the end of the month.

Kelley was so great to stay with the kids so Camille and I could get out and do a few things. He was off of work quite a bit because of bad weather in January and February, so even though we are poor, it was a great time for us to all be together.
There were so many times that Camille would just step right up and help grandma get to the bathroom or into bed. She made sure she took her pills and fixed her crepes (which she loves!)

I called out to her several times when I just couldn't move mom around myself. She was always right there. It's a lot easier with two people!

I don't know if I would have been able to do this without her help.

When things would get bad and mom couldn't remember anything or be able to move around, and I would start thinking...
'I can't do this'... Camille would give me a hug and tell me I am doing a good job.

When we were leaving, Camille came down to give grandma a hug and say goodbye. When she told her that she had to go home, grandma started to cry. Don't think I've ever seen her do that before. Pretty special bond formed over those two months. Can't ever express how grateful I am for her.

My dear sister Teina offered to stay with mom while we drove Camille's family home to Arizona. I know it was a great sacrifice for her and I appreciate it more than she could ever know!

We left Thursday afternoon and got to Mesquite about 8:00 and decided to stop there. Ate yummy buffet and then we all zonked out.

We got going about 8:30 am and decided to stop in and see Chris in Las Vegas. We had a good visit with Chris and Lisa, then got on our way again. Sam and Olivia were incredibly good on the long drive...we got there about 6:30. Kellen had made reservations for us to got to a restaurant that a good friend of his was part owner of that night. We didn't get there soon enough to make it for the time he had set though, so we ended up going to Joes barbecue. It was fun but we were all pooped after the long drive, so we went home and all went to bed by about 9:30.

(Bev and Gary had a real nice room for Kelley and I...their house is huge and lovely! Really appreciate them and their hospitality! ) We picked up Katie from the airport Saturday morning. That was so sweet of her to fly in just for the weekend. She is always so thoughtful and made Olivia feel extra special ( she needed that...feeling like second fiddle these days) Kelley does not approve of the baby legs we made for Sam.

Sunday getting ready for church...Sam was just as happy as a clam. Fell asleep on the way to church and stayed that way till right before he was to be blessed. Then he started fussing and by the time they got up there he was wailing at the top of his lungs....continued through the whole blessing, then when Kellen said amen, he immediately shut his eyes and fell asleep. Ha!

Kellen was a little flustered, but gave him a great blessing!

Have to get enough loves to last me till I can hold him again....man this is hard! Tried to be brave when we were leaving Monday morning, but had a small breakdown. I'm going to miss them so much.

We went back through Vegas on the way home to take Chris a bag of things from Rudy. They had lunch for us and we stayed and visited for a while with him and Lisa. Then headed for home. I told Teina we would probably get there around 9:30, and that's just when we drove in the driveway.

Came in to a perfectly clean house and everything in order. Lynn was there with Teina to take her home and mom was asleep. I'm sure grateful to her for giving me this chance to get away for a few days. It was good to not have to worry about what was going on here at home ... I knew she would handle anything and everything that happened.

She said after spending this time with mom, she could see how challenging it is, and wondered how long I could keep it up.

That's hard to say because each day is so different. Some days her mind is totally there, and she can get around pretty good with my help...other days, she is really confused and can't even stand up to get in the wheelchair. I have always thought I could do this as long as she can still get to the bathroom with my help....But when she can't stand even for a few seconds, or feed herself, that makes me feel like she is needing more help than I can give her. We are planning on all getting together on the 15th to re-evaluate and discuss the future. It makes me feel sick to think of having her in a nursing home....As long as I can, I will have her here.

Candice asked me today what I would want my kids to do if I was in mom's situation. That gave me a lot to think about...I'm torn both ways. I wouldn't want to be a burden to my family, but would want to be with them. I know mom thinks she is a bother...as much as I tell her how much I love to have her here and it's no trouble to do the things I do for her. It breaks my heart that she feels that way. Every night when I tuck her into bed, she says "thank you so much for everything you do for me" That is much more payment than I could ever ask for.