I need a snuggie!

Candice has been so great to come over and spend time with me while Kelley is gone.
She even let me wear her snuggie!
I am definitely a fan...thought they were super lame till she got me all tucked in with hers there on the couch. I don't know how it would work at the football game like they show on the commercial though. You'd be tripping all over yourself!
Anyway, we had a fun night watching food network and eating starburst jelly beans.
Went up to moms as soon as I dropped Kelley off at Gails. We had a nice weekend together. Just have to slow everything down a notch, and realize that it's going to take a little bit longer to get things done.
We are at least a good hour getting her in and out of the shower. First of all I have to convince her that she needs a shower. "I'm sure I had one yesterday!"
Anyway, once we get out to the bathroom, I turn on the water cause it takes about 10 minutes to regulate the temperature. Getting her undressed is a slow process. She will usually stop undressing and start putting her clothes back on. "Whatcha doing mom?" " Oh I'm just getting dressed" "But you haven't had your shower yet" " I don't need a shower!" "Yes you do!" "Oh your probably right...I do" Then she will start taking her clothes off again. I want to just do it for her, but I know if she doesn't do things for herself, she will lose any muscle she has. Her legs are so weak, it's really a miracle that she can make it up and down those stairs. After she is done in the shower, I help her get out and dried off and rub lotion on her poor feet. She has got some sad feet. She has had painful bunions all of her life and as she got older, her nails...oh her nails! She goes to a podiatrist every month to have him work on her nails. I like to take her to this appointment though because this Doctor is so good looking. I mean really handsome and very charming too. He is so sweet with mom and makes her feel like a princess as he is grinding away with his dumb and dumber nail file.
I do digress. Anyway, mom says it feels good when I rub lotion on her feet, so I always do. Next is the wrestling match with her support stockings. I seriously am sweating by the time I get them on her feet.
Then there is the issue of the depends. "I don't need to wear those anymore" " Ya you better mom" " I sure don't like to" "I know mom, I'm sorry but you need to " " Your right, I guess I better"
Man this is hard. I don't want to be the one to tell her what to do. I want her to tell me what to do. She has always been such a strength in my life. I have always felt the security of knowing that she was there for me and I could always call on her to help me through any problem, comfort me, calm me, listen to me, laugh or cry with me. Now it's more like I am the mother and she is my child. I guess this is God's way of preparing me to have to live without her.
Don't really like to think about that, but I know she tires of this life and her deteriorating body and mind, and the bordom and lonliness of the long days and mostly misses her sweetheart.
It's his birthday today. He would have been 95. I miss him too. Sometimes I just go stand in his den and look around at all the things on the walls and at his desk and breath in the smell of the room. It smells like him. I like to shut my eyes and picture him sitting there at his desk plunking away on his old typewritter, writing one more page for the diary.
He used to sit in there with Kelley while they cracked nuts and talk about his life. Kelley heard stories about his mission in Tahiti and his service in the war that I never did. They had a great relationship and I know Kelley loves him like his own dad. I often think of the last time I was at there at mom and dads before he had the heart attack. I had gone into his den to tell him we were leaving. We talked for a few minutes, then he got up and gave me a big hug and told me he loved me. That was not something he did. In fact, that is the only time he ever said that to me. I never had any doubt that he loved me, it just wasn't something he said. I got all choked up and told him I loved him too. I wondered if he had known that his time on this earth would soon be over and it was his way of saying goodbye. So grateful for those precious moments with him.

Well it's kind of hard to see(phone camera) but this is the bird feeded outside mom's kitchen window and there is the prettiest little red bird sitting there. We got out mom's bird books but couldnt find one that looked like this one. We decided he was a sure sign of spring!
I had a scary thing happen Saturday night. I woke up about 1:30 and was itching all over. My eyes were super itchy and my throat felt like it was swelling up. I got up and started looking through mom's medicine cabinet to see if she had any benedril. Nothing! I usually keep some with me but had changed purses and didn't put my bag of pills into this purse. Then I got sick to my stomach and spent a while in the bathroom. I didn't know what to do...didn't think their walmart was open all night. I sure felt alone and scared. Couldn't wake mom up...what was she going to do? I haven't had this happen for quite a while, but when it does, it's awful. I think the soup mix I made for supper must have had some msg or some kind of preservative in it. I was getting pretty frantic at this point, so I just started praying for some help. I got a big drink of water, and went and laid down and tried to be calm. That's hard when you are so itchy! It seemed like within a few minutes, I started to feel better. I could breath easier and the itching stopped. I felt warm and calm and knew that I was not alone. Before too long I was asleep. When I woke up the next morning, I thought, 'I wonder if I just dreamed that whole thing," but when i got up and looked in the mirror, my right eye was still swollen about half way shut so I knew it was real.
It's pretty scary when this happens, I've had to get a shot of benedril at the emergency room a few times when my throat has swollen up so tight I could hardly breath, and I have always had to get some allergy medecine to get through it, so I was sure grateful that my prayers were heard and answered that night.