We had the most terrible thing happen Wednesday night.  Katie had invited us to come over to her place and have a barbecue, so we were all getting cleaned up from the day at the beach. 
I had ironed my top and had left the iron on for Candice to iron her dress.  ( we had just been ironing on the bed because there was no ironing board.) 
Everyone was in and out of our room, blow drying hair, putting on make up and getting dressed.  Kelley and Candice were in there and Olivia and Sam were running in and out of the room.  Candice was playing with them and sailing Sam around in circles.  I had set the iron clear off in the corner, so I know Candice didn't see it,  so she set Sam down on the bed next to Kelley.  I was standing in the corner with my back to all of them doing my hair when I hear a scream.  It was Sam.  He had somehow got a hold of the iron.  No doubt the worst moment of my life. He was screaming and clawing at the burn. Camille was right there and we got him to some cold water.  Then tried cold pack... we didn't know what to do for him...he was just crying so hard, he was losing his voice.  It was a bad burn.  Camille and Kellen decided to take Sam to the emergency room to see what they could do for him.  Camille was so calm, I was really amazed at her ability to hold it together. When they left, Candice and I just sat there and bawled.
They took him up to the Hoag hospital...my memories of that hospital from when I broke my wrist are not that great.  I can't really complain...it's just a really busy hospital and I know they take patients in order of the severity of their problem.  I went in there in July 4th and the emergency room was packed.  anyway...the emergency room was full when they took Sam in there too.  They looked at his injury, then told them there was much more serious problems that they had to tend to first.
They were there for several hours, when Camille called me in tears.  Her phone kept cutting out, so I couldn't understand what she was saying to me...then I completely lost the call.  A few seconds later, a police man calls me back and identifies himself.  He says that with every burn of a child, they have to do an investigation to see if abuse was involved.  He wanted everyone who was in the room at the time of the accident to come to the hospital to be interviewed by him and the child protective services worker.  So we all went to the hospital.  Olivia was so worried about Sam, she could hardly hold back the tears.  I did not want them to make her more upset.
When we got there, and I explained why we were there, the girl at the front desk was just like, 'oh man, I'm sorry you have to do this... I think she had seen Sam and Camille and Kellen and knew Sam was a very loved child....and like we didn't feel bad enough about it already.
They took me back first and the cop asked me a bunch of questions about what happened.  I couldn't explain very well, because I didn't really see it happen, but I told him what was going on in the room. Then the social worker asked some different questions...that made me feel so bad.  "Why hadn't I been there to support my daughter?"  I told her I had stayed with Olivia and was trying to comfort her.  Then the cop asked me if I had ever hit Sam.  Of course not!  Well how do you discipline him then?  I told them I would just say No! to him.
When they were done with me, they wanted Olivia to come in.  I said I would come with her.  The social worker said, "No, she needs to talk to us alone"  I didn't like that one bit and told her that would be too scary for Olivia.  She said ' Oh she will be just fine"  They came out and talked to Olivia for a minute, explaining what they were going to do, then took her back into the room by herself.  She was so brave....I just wanted to hug her to pieces I was so proud of her.  She came out smiling with a police officer badge and said..."I just told them what happened.  It was OK!"
They talked to Candice, and Kelley, then finally told us we could go back to see Sam.  ( All this time, we couldn't communicate with Camille because we didn't have phone service in the hospital, so she didn't know what was going on)
When we walked into their room, Sam was just sitting on Camille's lap, drinking some juice.  He was smiling and seemed like nothing had even happened. When he saw us, he held out his arms to me and just gave me the best hug I've ever had. It was almost like he knew the guilt and anguish I had been feeling and wanted me to know it was OK and he still loved me.
They hadn't done anything to treat him except to try to give him some pain medication ( which he spit out) ...this was about 5 hours after arriving at the hospital.  They said they had to finish the interviews with CPS and take pictures of his burn before they could treat him.  That really fired us all up.  There really was no sense to it.  I guess Kellen let the doctor know they were not happy with the way things had gone.  A nurse finally came in and put some ointment on the burn and wrapped it up.  They wanted Sam to go to a burn speciality hospital the next day, but when we talked to the doctor, he said it probably wouldn't make any difference...the treatment would be the same and he would heal the same whether they went or not.
We finally left the hospital about 11:00.  Oh and to top if off, the cop said they needed to come by our place to see where the accident had happened and take pictures.  A few minutes after we got home and got Sam in to bed, they showed up and wanted to recreate the scene and take pictures.  They had already said they could see that it was just an accident, but they needed to complete their investigation.  wow.  The cop was pretty decent, but I didn't like the social worker.  It was like she wanted to twist things to make it into something it wasn't.  She looked at the iron and said  "this doesn't look like it would have caused that burn"  The cop was just like," come on, lets go." 
I know they have to really check things out cause there are people out there that really do things like this to their kids...I can't really comprehend it, but I heard several stories that night about people that are that sick.  It makes me want to cry to think someone would hurt their own kids.  We are all they have...who would they turn to if they didn't have parents to cherish, love and protect them? 
It makes my heart ache to think about this night and even though Camille has told me a hundred times that it was just an accident and not any one's fault, I'm having a hard time forgiving myself.