Well it's been quite a week! 
On Tuesday morning, I went to pick up mom. I picked up Teina on the way for moral and physical support.
On Tuesday morning, I went to pick up mom. I picked up Teina on the way for moral and physical support. We told her that today was the day she was going to come to my house and visit me for a while. (I had been talking to her about it on the phone the week before and Brenda and Teina had been talking to her about it too)
She didn't disagree, but I could tell she was pretty nervous about leaving her house.
We gathered up all of the things she uses and some other things that we hoped would make her feel comfortable and at home...her afghan, lamp, pictures...her favorite clothes and slippers.
We cleaned out her fridge, turned down the temperature, then got her all loaded into the car.
That was quite a feat in itself. The car is kind of high, so we got her to put one foot up onto the side step, then Teina and I got behind her and pushed her up into the car...you wouldn't think a tiny person like her would be so hard to lift, but man it's tough! We were all laughing so hard by the time we got her in there...it was pretty funny!
She kept asking what city we were in as we drove along. Then she would say, "I never thought you lived so far away!" It's been quite a few years since she has been to my house.
When we drove up to the house, Kelley and Candice and Camille came out to help bring her in the house. It was really cold outside, so I was grateful Kelley had made a nice warm fire. Mom seemed to like it too and got comfortable in the big comfy chair next to it.
Later, I showed her her room and put away her clothes and set up all her things in there. She said she just loved it...she is always so sweet and grateful for everything.
We had a nice dinner, then I think she was pretty tired, cause she said she was ready for bed. I don't blame her! That was exhausting for me and I wasn't going through the mental anguish of leaving my home that she was. I got her all ready and into bed. That's a process....like getting her up. It just takes time. I'm used too racing through life, always doing something, running here and there, at a pretty good pace.
Well I could see that first day with her here, that I was going to have to bring it down a notch. It's not a bad thing, and I am so happy to have her here, but I just need to slow down a bit, and realize that it's gonna take some time to get things done...
The first night she was here, I had a pretty sleepless night, worrying about her getting up in the night and not knowing where she was. I kept checking on her to make sure she was sleeping. Then about 4:00 am, I hear this thud from her room. I go running down there and she is kneeling on the floor, trying to get to her feet.
She said she was going to go to the bathroom, but didn't know where it was. I don't think she was hurt, but pretty confused. I took her into the bathroom, then got her back into bed.
It's going to take some time to get used to things.
The next night, I asked her if she would please stay in bed till I came in to get her up. She has done that ever since. (except for one day when we got up and found her out sitting in the family room watching tv!...how in the world? I don't know.)
The same company that was helping mom up in Providence have a home health and hospice team here in Salt Lake and they contacted me and wanted to come over and meet mom. The nurse and social worker came over and both were very nice. They talked with her for a while, then the nurse checked her vital signs. The nurse said she will be coming in about every week to make sure she is doing ok. They have a podiatrist that is going to come over and work on her feet. She has some sores on her toes that she wanted him to look at. They also have a doctor that is coming today to check her out. They really want to do everything they can to help out. They wondered about having home health come in to help care for her, but I haven't really seen a need for them yet.
The nurse had a wheel chair and a raised toilet seat thing with handles delivered here that have been really helpful.
Things have been going along pretty well. She seems happy and has had a lot of entertainment and company with Camille's family here.
The only incident she has had besides falling out of bed that first night, was yesterday....When we were leaving to go to church, she was sound asleep in the chair so I didn't wake her up to tell her where we were going... Well after sacrament meeting, I came home with Will, Jacob and Jonathan to bring her the sacrament. When I came in she was sitting on the edge of the chair, looking around frantically. She said she had woken up and didn't know where she was and nobody was there. She said she thought she was lost until she looked around and saw the picture of her and daddy on the tv... then she realized she was in my house. She was pretty upset. I felt so bad! I for sure won't leave her again without telling her where I'm going!
The young men were great with her there was a sweet spirit here when they blessed and gave her the sacrament. It gave me a deeper appreciation for the atonement and love of the Savior when I could see how much it meant to her to be able to take the sacrament.
Well I'm finishing this up after the doctor (a sweet lady named Dr. Newman) and nurse that came the other day have left. I really liked the doctor. She is very kind and thorough and sweet with mother but showed her respect and wanted her opinions on how things were going. Mom told her I was taking good care of her and that she was happy here.
The doctor listened to her heart and said it was beating really slow....between 40-45 beats per minute. So she called Dr. Stones and talked with him about changing her heart medicine. She said he was really helpful and told her some of mom's history. Then she called in all the perscriptions with the changes she had made.
Then they started asking questions about how I was getting along and dealing with the work of caring for an elderly person. (The nurse had wanted to weigh mom and had brought some scales in. Then she tried to get her up and walk to the scales and stand on them...by the time she was finished she was dripping sweat!) She said "how are you doing this? She is really hard to move around!" I don't know exactly what happened next, but without any warning, I just started to cry. I guess all the feelings and worries and lack of sleep of this past week that had been building up all came out. They listened to me and were very understanding and kind. They said it was my decision, but they wanted me to have the aides come in to help. I told them I would let them know when I wanted them to come. That's nice to know there are there when I need them. I can see that I'm going to need some help.
She didn't disagree, but I could tell she was pretty nervous about leaving her house.
We gathered up all of the things she uses and some other things that we hoped would make her feel comfortable and at home...her afghan, lamp, pictures...her favorite clothes and slippers.
We cleaned out her fridge, turned down the temperature, then got her all loaded into the car.
That was quite a feat in itself. The car is kind of high, so we got her to put one foot up onto the side step, then Teina and I got behind her and pushed her up into the car...you wouldn't think a tiny person like her would be so hard to lift, but man it's tough! We were all laughing so hard by the time we got her in there...it was pretty funny!
She kept asking what city we were in as we drove along. Then she would say, "I never thought you lived so far away!" It's been quite a few years since she has been to my house.
When we drove up to the house, Kelley and Candice and Camille came out to help bring her in the house. It was really cold outside, so I was grateful Kelley had made a nice warm fire. Mom seemed to like it too and got comfortable in the big comfy chair next to it.
Later, I showed her her room and put away her clothes and set up all her things in there. She said she just loved it...she is always so sweet and grateful for everything.
We had a nice dinner, then I think she was pretty tired, cause she said she was ready for bed. I don't blame her! That was exhausting for me and I wasn't going through the mental anguish of leaving my home that she was. I got her all ready and into bed. That's a process....like getting her up. It just takes time. I'm used too racing through life, always doing something, running here and there, at a pretty good pace.
Well I could see that first day with her here, that I was going to have to bring it down a notch. It's not a bad thing, and I am so happy to have her here, but I just need to slow down a bit, and realize that it's gonna take some time to get things done...
The first night she was here, I had a pretty sleepless night, worrying about her getting up in the night and not knowing where she was. I kept checking on her to make sure she was sleeping. Then about 4:00 am, I hear this thud from her room. I go running down there and she is kneeling on the floor, trying to get to her feet.
She said she was going to go to the bathroom, but didn't know where it was. I don't think she was hurt, but pretty confused. I took her into the bathroom, then got her back into bed.
It's going to take some time to get used to things.
The next night, I asked her if she would please stay in bed till I came in to get her up. She has done that ever since. (except for one day when we got up and found her out sitting in the family room watching tv!...how in the world? I don't know.)
The same company that was helping mom up in Providence have a home health and hospice team here in Salt Lake and they contacted me and wanted to come over and meet mom. The nurse and social worker came over and both were very nice. They talked with her for a while, then the nurse checked her vital signs. The nurse said she will be coming in about every week to make sure she is doing ok. They have a podiatrist that is going to come over and work on her feet. She has some sores on her toes that she wanted him to look at. They also have a doctor that is coming today to check her out. They really want to do everything they can to help out. They wondered about having home health come in to help care for her, but I haven't really seen a need for them yet.
The nurse had a wheel chair and a raised toilet seat thing with handles delivered here that have been really helpful.
Things have been going along pretty well. She seems happy and has had a lot of entertainment and company with Camille's family here.
The only incident she has had besides falling out of bed that first night, was yesterday....When we were leaving to go to church, she was sound asleep in the chair so I didn't wake her up to tell her where we were going... Well after sacrament meeting, I came home with Will, Jacob and Jonathan to bring her the sacrament. When I came in she was sitting on the edge of the chair, looking around frantically. She said she had woken up and didn't know where she was and nobody was there. She said she thought she was lost until she looked around and saw the picture of her and daddy on the tv... then she realized she was in my house. She was pretty upset. I felt so bad! I for sure won't leave her again without telling her where I'm going!
The young men were great with her there was a sweet spirit here when they blessed and gave her the sacrament. It gave me a deeper appreciation for the atonement and love of the Savior when I could see how much it meant to her to be able to take the sacrament.
Well I'm finishing this up after the doctor (a sweet lady named Dr. Newman) and nurse that came the other day have left. I really liked the doctor. She is very kind and thorough and sweet with mother but showed her respect and wanted her opinions on how things were going. Mom told her I was taking good care of her and that she was happy here.
The doctor listened to her heart and said it was beating really slow....between 40-45 beats per minute. So she called Dr. Stones and talked with him about changing her heart medicine. She said he was really helpful and told her some of mom's history. Then she called in all the perscriptions with the changes she had made.
Then they started asking questions about how I was getting along and dealing with the work of caring for an elderly person. (The nurse had wanted to weigh mom and had brought some scales in. Then she tried to get her up and walk to the scales and stand on them...by the time she was finished she was dripping sweat!) She said "how are you doing this? She is really hard to move around!" I don't know exactly what happened next, but without any warning, I just started to cry. I guess all the feelings and worries and lack of sleep of this past week that had been building up all came out. They listened to me and were very understanding and kind. They said it was my decision, but they wanted me to have the aides come in to help. I told them I would let them know when I wanted them to come. That's nice to know there are there when I need them. I can see that I'm going to need some help.
5 comments:
My Dad went 14 years caring for my Mom (with us trying the whole time to get him to agree to using some aides). The last two weeks of Mom's life, he finally agreed to aides--and he loved them. He told us later he was kicking himself for being so stubborn and not getting help for Mom. I say go for it--they are special people who care a lot!
I've been meaning to write you for the past week to say thankyou, and this just makes my thanks even more heartfelt! I deal with this stuff every day, but it's so much harder when it's with someone you love. Thank you for taking grandma in and being with her. I know it must be so stressful, but it's so wonderful to know that she isn't alone and that you're with her! Hang in there, it will get easier. You're both in my prayers!
I agree with both comments! I know you are trying your hardest and that is what counts! I think it would help to have the home health care come in but only if you want. It would just be nice for you to have a break once in awhile. Thanks for being so sweet and concerned. Its really hard to dedicate your life to take care of someone. I know there are special places in heaven for people like you.
I hope I can be as patient and wonderful as you when I grow up.
dear friend! I'm so glad you finally have your Mom with you. Your an angel. Now take the help from the home health people. They are trained in moving and assisting your Mom is ways your not! It will make your Mom's stay with you more joyful and not so much work for you. I know you can do it, but it's hard and wearing on both of you! Your Mom needs your emotional support just as much and the physical support will lighten your load. Do it! That's in my bossiest (but full of love) voice I can muster...
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