Had a really disturbing  visit with one of my visiting teaching ladies this afternoon. We had set up an appointment with her for 4:00. We came to the door and are greeted by her husband and son.  He invites us in, apolagizing for the condition of their home.( It was pretty bad....they had to make a trail for us to get to the couch, then move some stuff off the couch for us to sit down.) 
Then she came storming into the room, screaming at her son at the top of her lungs.  She kept telling him to get out of there...I mean scary screaming.  The little boy (probably about 8, was being shuffled out the door by his dad but she was yelling at him all the way..."you are making me crazy...you  are so lazy...you made this mess...get away from me!"  I couldn't believe what I was hearing and my heart was breaking for this little boy. 
The dad followed the little boy out the door as she hollared a few nasty comments to him too.
Then she moved a pile of clothes off a chair and sat down.  She told us she had finals on Monday and needed to study and her family wouldn't leave her alone.  She said all the kids do is play video games and never help her.  She works from home at night, then goes to school during the day.  She said her son had been following her around all morning, wanting her attention and she just didn't have time for him cause she needed to be studying.
My partner and I were just sitting there like WOW.  We could see that she had clearly gone over the edge. 
She said she was under a lot of pressure and things would be better after her finals on Monday. She said she wanted to cut back her hours at work, but then couldn't get by without that extra money.
I wanted to tell her we would clean her house, but I know she would have been very offended.
 I didn't want to take any more of her time, but told her that we were there for her to help her in any way we could and that we would be praying for her and her family to get through this hard time.  I told her that Heavenly Father loves her and knows what she is feeling and wants her to go to Him for help and comfort. She started to cry and we did too. We talked a few more minutes, then gave her a hug and left.  I literaly felt sick when I left her house.  Sick for her sad situation that has driven her to this point,  sick for the humiliated dad, but mostly sick for that little boy.  I can't get the picture of his confused, scared little face out of my mind.

It was a happy day in the Wilkinson home...the long awaited puppy found her new home!

It's a Yorkie and Shiatsu mix

I think Liv might explode.  She named the new puppy Rose. ( Camille:"are you sure Liv?  remember how you named the baby chick Rose? Olivia: "Yup...it's rose")

What a cutie!   Got the Jensen eyebrows

 Olivia is already playing dress up...I don't think this puppy will lack for attention.

Disclaimer:  This post is full of whining...do not read if you are easily annoyed
I know I really shouldn't complain, but these past few weeks have really been kicking ny butt.  I get to sleep pretty easily, but then about 2 am, I'm wide awake... and I wake up with my heart pounding and in a total sweat.  I throw off the covers and any pajamas I may have been wearing and just lay there waiting for it to pass. When it does, then there I am, drenched in sweat.   gross.  I'll get up and get a drink and come back to bed, hoping to be able to fall back asleep.  Not happening.  After I lay there for about a half hour, I finally grab my book and night light and try reading myself to sleep.  (too bad the book I'm reading "heaven is here" is not one bit boring.) After a while...lets see, last night it was about 4:30, I start to doze off.  Then 15 minutes later, Kelley's alarm goes off!  Awesome!
I really hate to take sleeping pills.  I don't know if that was instilled in me by my mother or just my own paranoia of becoming addicted.  Mum used to take 1/4 of a sleeping pill....this was back when she was having different health problems though..probably 20 years ago, and that did the trick for her.
Anyway, I've gotten this prescription for Ambian from Dr. Roth ( after Camille told him about my sleeping problems) but, I've been sending most of them to Kate.  (She is having a real hard time sleeping too.)
I would save a few out of the bottle for emergencies, but rarely took them. 
Well after about 3 nights, like this one described above, I couldn't take it anymore and took 1/2 of an Ambian.  The first time I took it, I slept all night!  and the next night too!  It was wonderful!  I wouldn't wake up groggy or anything!  So then I thought, well maybe now, my body knows how to sleep all night, so I didn't take one...and I woke up, like clock work, at 2.Ahhhhhhh
So then ( and this is the bad part) I decided to just take them again.  Only this time I woke up in the middle of the night, having terrible hot flashes.  So I guess it's like people warned me...you keep having to take more and more to make them work.  ( not to mention the psychotic dreams they give me...not cool)
I think I'll call Dr. Roth and see if he can do anything for me...last time I saw him, things weren't so bad as they are now, and we decided I could get through this menopause thing without any hormone replacement.  All I know is that I've got to get some sleep...it's starting to wear me down.  I've had several incidents lately of really unstable behavior....for instance:
Sunday morning, I didn't wake up till 8:30...this was the result of being awake from about 3-6 the night before.  Anyway, I woke up in a total panic.  Had to shower and wash my hair ( after about 5 saturating hot flashes in the night)  So I hurried really fast!  Next thing I look at my watch and it's 8:45.  Oh my gosh....I'm going to be late, and I can't be late!  I have to put up the numbers and lead the opening song!  I tried to find something to wear, but nothing was working...( don't know where my shoes are...where is my slip????)  I seriously thought I was having a heart attack and just sat down on the floor and cried.    Come on!  Pull yourself together! 
I gave myself  a few minutes to cry it out, then I got up and put on a white skirt with a white top....no slip and shoes that didn't match my temple outfit.  oh dear, I didn't even care.  I tore out the door and flew up to the church.  Ran up the isle just as Josh was getting ready to start the meeting.    Thank goodness Brother Clay put up the numbers for me!  ( I know Kelley would have too)  I was quite a frazzled mess as I led the music, but then I look out at all the people and they are smiling at me!   I think, " These people are awesome!  They don't judge me... why am I so hard on myself?"
Anyway, I guess it's the lack of sleep that intensifies my lack of self esteem and and decision making ability...oh that was another good one.  Yesterday I was stopped at JoAnns on my way home from racquetball to get some stencils for making these posters for the yard sale.  First of all, I couldn't find any stencils...then I asked a lady there and she showed me 4 different places where they had stencils.  So now I had all these different stencils to pick from....so many different ones...and then there was these cool stick on letters...a whole other section of foamy stick on letters...florescent letters...glittering letters...oooooo and poster boards with  lights on them?  I had waaaaaaaay too many options and it was just too much for me. I looked at them for at least 45 minutes.  I know the ladies working there thought I was a psycho.  I thought I was a psycho.   I started having a hot flash/panic attack.    I grabbed the first one's I had looked at and headed for the check out.  I have never been a good decider, but really?  over poster boards and stencils?
Oh, p.s. something that will NOT ease my anxiety at night...Dr. Bradley called yesterday to tell me that one of the moles they did a biopsy on last week was not ok.  They are going to have to take out the area around the mole.  Man that is a phone call I have night mares about.
This mole has been bothering me since he took it off and hasn't healed up good.  It was all red and inflamed and I thought it might be infected.  I told dr. Bradly about it, and he's calling me in some anti-biotic.
I'm sure glad it wasn't one that he took off my face.
Well that's enough complaining.  I sure do have much to be thankful for ...these are just silly little things compared to the challenges others face...all I have to do is look around to see that.  Just had to get it off my chest.

very random week...

Candice sent me this picture today...can't believe it's been a year since we were all together for Easter at Kate's house.

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I saw this sweet verse on Pinterest and made a stitchery for Cheryl. We had bunko Thursday at Stacey's so I gave it to her then.   Hope it healed her heart a little like it did mine.

(bunko was fun...won a cute wreath Stacey had made!)

The chicks are growing sooooo fast!  They are little eating and pooping machines!

Kelley saved these glass block when he was remodeling mum's bathroom.  That will be neat to have them for a window in the shower!

Remodel is coming along!  We got walls!

I picked up Teina and we met Brenda and Leslie at mum's on Saturday.  KC and Kelley came up too to cut up that tree that had fallen down.

The rock garden trying to grow... but the deer have been there eating everything that comes up.  grrrrrrrr...seriously now, there is green stuff growing everywhere...go home!

Deloy was pretty happy about that!  He is a funny guy...I think he misses daddy and having someone to talk to. They used to spend hours gabbing over the fence.  He had a captive audience with Kelley and KC though. He got out his wallet to show them some pictures and Kelley thought it would be of his wife or grandkids or something but it was of some of his guns and favorite tools!  Ha!

Kelley and KC loaded all the junk we had been collecting ( mattresses, old couch's, and other big stuff we couldn't fit in the garbage cans) in the trailer and back of his truck. They had a full load!  The dumpsters for spring clean up were open so they took the stuff  and dumped it there.  So glad they could help us out!  Dennis came over and helped a while too.  They drug the old washers out and a few dressers that were in the garage.

When they got done, it looked like we had enough stuff to have a sale, so we decided to have it next saturday!  It's going to take some work to get the stuff cleaned up and presentable though.  Brenda and Teina are going up there on Tuesday to work on it.  Dang I wish I wasn't so far away!

We cleaned out the green house......so many pots!  Boyd came over and said we could just leave them there and he would take them down to the "Green House" to see if they wanted them.  There was a lot of flats and hanging baskets and a ton of sprays, and concoctions for feeding the flowers and killing the weeds.  There was also several stools....Ahhhh I could just picture mum sitting there in the green house planting her seeds.There is a life time of memories there in that green house.

Anyway, we had a good day together.  Started taking home a few things...felt weird to take Uncle Clydes picture off the wall.  With some of the furniture gone now, it's starting to look strange and empty.

Camille sent me this picture of American "Hair" doll with outfit I made on!  It fits!  I was worried it would be to big!

Camille and Liv tye dyed shirts and she wanted to show me....so cute!

Gosh I miss these kids!
Kate sent this picture to me this week...this was at Texas Rhode house when she came home for Easter...sure do miss her too.

I've been super emotional this week for some reason...hearts aching to be with family...  I kind of slipped into a funk after Camille's family went home....can't sleep, cry at song practice, at Walmart, and other random places?  I guess the lack of sleep just adds to my instability.

I love that Camille sends me pictures all the time, but it's just not the same as holding those little sweeties in my arms.

More pictures from last week...

Chicks and fun times...

We've been talking about getting some chickens for quite a while now and we thought it would be fun to have Livy pick them out, so one day we went over to IFA to check them out.

Liv instantly became mother hen and wanted to hold them non stop.

After doing our home work, we picked three different kinds of chicks that we were told were good layers. hardy and friendly!

Sam wasn't too sure about them...kept his distance.

 They told us to get two more than what we wanted to end up with cause usually a few die.  Some of them seemed pretty fragile those first few days, and I was afraid  some might not make it.  I would look in the box and find them all sprawled out with their head buried in the wood shavings.  I poked one of them and it didn't move, so I picked it up and it just laid there all limp. I thought she was a goner.  But then all the sudden, her head popped up and she was just perky as ever.  The next few days, I noticed that they would fall asleep randomly, no matter what they were doing.  Several times, I found them laying with their head inside the feeding tray sound asleep.  The guy at IFA said they are not the brightest and have fallen asleep in their water and drowned before.  HA!  They are so cute though!  And they are growing like crazy!  One of the black ones was bigger than the others when we got them and she is trying to fly out of the box.  Kelley put a wire cover over the top but she keeps flying up and bashing her head against the top....I think we are going to need a bigger box!  They said we could keep them like this for about 6 weeks, then we're going to need a coop!

Olivia told me before they left that I would have to take care of them now..".be sure to feed them and hold them and talk to them and love them grandma"

We had such a fun week together...one day we went up to city creek and shopped a bit.  We were going to go over to Temple Square to look at the flowers, but a cold wind started to blow pretty hard so we decided to call it a day.

Liv and I had fun dressing up in daddy's hula skirts and looking at all the pretty shells and things he brought home.

We cooked hot dogs and marshmallows over the fire pit one night....really nice weather for the first part of the week!

Played hopscotch, barbies, candy land, paper dolls, colored and blew bubbles. Baked cookies, swung and read books.  Tammy is so thoughtful...brought over some cute coloring posters for Olivia.

Sam really likes broccoli!  He is such a cutie!  Had fun playing with Lizzy.  Lizzy was really protective of Sam this visit and wanted to be by him all the time.  Slept next to his crib every night.

 We planted a few more seeds and just had fun digging in the dirt.

mmmmmm peanut butter and jelly "SAND  which"

I made this outfit for Liv's American Girl doll.

Camille and I went for a run a few times while she was here.  We went down the canal road, then down 62 and onto the lower canal road.  I had seen some cool chicken coops when I had walked there before and wanted to get a picture of them to show Kelley.

Lots of trees were out in full blossoms and it smelled so good as we jogged by! 

I was surprised to see what my legs could do....thought I wouldn't be able to make it, but I did!  ( I'm sure I made Camille run about half as fast as she would have gone alone, but she was great to go at my pace.

I realized that having Camille and the grand kids here makes me feel young again...like I can do anything!  I kind of slip into old lady mode sometimes.   Sure do wish they didn't live so far away.  Hopefully, some day they will come back to Utah.

It was awful hard to see them go...